Strain and Stress

the strain and stress come up so slowly

its behind me in all corners and below me

i try and run away from these painful thoughts

but they catch up and consume me in every lot

its like taking 1 step forward and one step back

if only if i was stronger or if i had nothing i lack

im like a helpless cat stuck up in a tree

with nobody around not even one to help me

the stress keeps coming even on the happiest of days

so i tend to sit around and smoke it away

that doesnt work nor does it give any help

blackening my lungs and nothing is dealt

one day ill crack with this constant pressure

i wont able to stand it and this i'm sure

Copyright: this = mine

Finish Line

im so close

standing right there

from the finish line

but its not fair

i hesitate

im glued on the ground

my feet dont move

in a cement mound

is this truly the end

of my misery

these many wasted years

was it meant to be

the doubts come to mind

all flashes and blurs

filling my head

of what ifs and cures

is it really the end

once i pass the line

how do i know

if i will be fine

i shake my head

my mind is spinning

its not the finish

its just the beginning

Copyright: this = mine

Rainy Days

the water falls down

hitting my face

like a leaking faucet

from outer space

it pours down

cleansing my soul

but it seems like

my heart is just a bowl

the emptiness inside

fills up very quickly

because its raining so hard

that it hurts me

the cold shower

covers myself

soaking my clothes

and ruining my health

why do i sit there

all in the rain

thinking about

my inside pain

i become soaked

in God's tears

He is crying for me

is what i fear

even the Almighty

up in the clouds

gives me pity

for crying out loud

but i still sit

with my head down

cigarette in hand

only a frown

Copyright: this = mine

Mountain Top

its something i really want

buts its been really hard these days

feels like its kind of impossible

so im writing about it

but i know its totally worth it in the end

theres something that i want

its on top of there

on the very peak

of this mountain here

i climb and climb

but the winds are too harsh

they push me away

down into the marsh

sometimes i feel

that i should give in

too much pressure

that i might not win

i want to reach the top

to get the treasure

the beautiful prize

with unbelievable measure

i continue to struggle

my strength is weak

i want it so badly

its something i seek

such amazing shine

its so awesome

i want it for myself

but on top it is from

so the pain continues

i must endure

for the outcome is great

it is so pure

Copyright: this = mine

Dilemmas

maybe be true or not

just wanting to write something at

530 in the morning

i walk on this lonley path

theres nothing to see

a depressing small road

walking in misery

the path then meets

with two other roads

each going different ways

both has something that unfolds

i stand at the fork

with so many different thoughts

not really sure where to go

i dont know what my body wants

one of the paths that i see

has been brushed and cleaned

it seems very logical to take

unlike the other fiend

the second path is new

so it doesnt seem positive

if i take this one

failure might be the cause of it

i want to be adventurous

but i dont want to fail

i dont know which to take

not sure if i should bail

one will make me a follower

someone has already taken it

the other is untouched

but i might fall into a bottomless pit

i would love to take the danger

and follow my heart

but i need some help

which nobody will start

my body is in a stand still

i cannot move anywhere

my mind has hit a wall

because this is unfair

i wish i knew

what exactly to do

because one of these paths

will lead me to you

Copyright: this = mine

Cancer Sticks

tiny but strong

very powerful indeed

not illegal

like cocaine and weed

available everywhere

almost everyone does

some are discreet

of what they once was

light it up slowly

tastes like candy

enters the body

makes you feel so free

you must free yourself

cuz its an addiction

killing yourself slowly

if you do it too often

the fumes of death

grim does not lie

you crave for it

from the last time you fly

so quit now

when you have a chance

because you'll die

in fire, its hard to dance

Copyright: this = mine

Stalker

i saw you again

but you didnt see me

i know its seems like

a bit stalkerly

i creep in the shadows

and watch from afar

to view your beauty

like a modeling star

i dont speak

nor make an attempt

because im afraid

of being broken and bent

we make eye contact

but that's all we do

you're completely oblivious

that im madly in love with you

Copyright: this = mine

Judgement

i donno

just felt like it

how come nobody sees me

the way i am

like the scarlet letter

just like a black lamb

im like a torn book

with a broken cover

while the text may be good

about a lonely lover

people judge me

way too quickly

by seeing how i act

and speak freely

how come those people

wont come up and see

talk and find out

the personality in me

Copyright: this = mine

Sailboat

you gotta sail off to the sea of hell

and

bring your friends and family as well

but

make sure they hold onto the side rail

cuz

i've seen so many who didn't and fell

so done

we set sail and we raise the flag

of

lies and sin we all had

so

we can see if the muck comes off the rag

then

you'd be able to play life with no lag

how fun

on the other hand it might not

oh

what happens is that your body will rot

dang

the muck will stay and get caught

ew

it'll soak into your skin; how hot

time to shun

everyone will see your faults

anon

they will see you then halt

mock

shame and disappointment assault

disgrace

you will never be able to exalt

just run

so if you don't want that pain

jump

into the fire and die in vain

cuz

living with the torment and shame

will

drive you insane

it's begun

Copyright: this = mine

Writing Poems

a poem about writing poems

there's nothing to it

anything can fit

just keep writing

it's a verb not a thing

words together

make it much better

but creativity is key

it's easy! as you can see

Copyright: this = mine

Courage #1

something about courage

courage, it's what i need

to ask in person

but courage is what will lead

without it, all will worsen

just a little just a tad

to push me enough

i hope you don't get mad

just a small question

which needs an answer

i don't need a lesson

but just to be sure

the question, ill say

this friday are you free?

a candle lit dinner

please go out with me

Copyright: this = mine

Our World

something i think about our world we live in

i live in a world all filled with hate

there's many things we don't appreciate

like not noticing your perfect mate

or coming to a family reunion late

i wonder what happened to our youth

because it's not all nice and smooth

everybody here has a rotten tooth

for lying and twisting up the truth

everyday their sins grow bad

losing all the good things they had

changing themselves for the latest fad

because they think its cool and rad

the youth grows up with this cruel life

doing different drugs and cheating on their wife

robbing banks and murder with knives

are these things worth being alive?

Copyright: this = mine

Destiny and Wrestling

i donno

Finding true love

plain as can be

the destined soulmate

the one in the dreams you see

things like fate

and predetermined destiny

is something as real

as televised prowrestling

to those who understand

and look into detail

it is all fake

the show that entails

but others believe

and follow thoroughly

because they have faith

in something that's not for me

i don't believe

in these fake lies

maybe it's because

i haven't tried

Copyright: this = mine

Cops

started writing about cops

i dont know why

When flashing lights appear

those that everyone fear

we all start running

becuase the cops are near

the blue and red

means you're dead

if you are caught

with illegal things by the feds

dont slow down

or even turn around

to look at their bright

lights and sounds

demons in uniform

come to our dorm

searching for drugs

of any type of form

so if they get you

which they might do

your life will be ruined

and mine will be too

Copyright: this = mine

Beautiful Women

lols

i just wrote about this because its true

HAHHA

All these beautiful women

as far as i can see

all these beautiful women

but none with me

all these beautiful women

walking with their boyfriends

all these beautiful women

wearing their tinted lenses

all these beautiful women

with their amazing bodies

all these beautiful women

like flawless dollies

all these beautiful women

so cute and great

all these beautiful women

falling for them shall be my fate

Copyright: this = mine

Masquerade

the cure? or the cause?

how come i feel so down right now

thinking about these questions of how

the people around me and those i meet

are able to lie and stand on their feet

their words go by me oh so fast

but thinking to myself of the last

words that they say and if they're true

and thinking about what they do

when they go home to sleep at night

if they're really up for the fight

against the truth or the lies

their words aren't allowed to fly

because their masks cover their truth

of the actual person under the roof

underneath those clothes and acts

trying to be someone else in fact

because they dont allow themselves to be seen

of something so low and clean

compared to others that are cool

so they pretend to be more like a fool

these people around me just disgust me

why cant they just act free

of their insecurities

i feel like an outsider in a masquerade

i shall wait and see them fade

off into the shadows of lies and muck

to test out if i have some luck

of finding someone else like me

someone true and real as can be

Copyright: this = mine

Only You

sat down

on comp

might as well write something

i donno what to do

i just met you

and theres things im thinking about

like us two going out

but i know i shouldnt

cuz i know u wouldnt

its too sudden

for someone to be fallen

for a complete stranger

itll just raise up some anger

to some people about this

i just donno what it is

something about you i see

that makes you so free

from the shackles of the crowd

stands out so loud

in my canals of my ear

but its something that i fear

we need to start off slow

just gotta follow the flow

of our relationship so far

i just need a car

so i can take you to places

that we can see our faces

underneath the shining moon

hugging in a spoon

with the sand underneath

with you i cannot breathe

its so hard for me

because i wanna be

called your boo

only you

Copyright: this = mine

Freestyle #1

a freestyle that i just started writing in class

i consider it a freestyle cuz i wrote all things down

from the top of my head

lolss

school has started and classes are full

all these people trying to teach us this bull

not really sure what im doing here

along with these students and peers

pencil in hand and paper all blank

listening to this is making my head blank

cuz im not a tank

a tank of information and knowledge

id rather run like sonic the hedge-

hog

into this impervious fog

full of bullshit and frogs

made of guts and green

ill make you eat that.. i mean

i promise itll make you lean

ha! what a lie!

if you actually try

listening to my words with twisted truth

so let us go into a photo booth

and have our picture taken by mister grim

let him make you slim

if you are dim-

witted

cuz your pants are fitted

with a shirt tucked in

and it seems like you aint fuckin

the opposite sex

believing you got a hex

from the kryptonite from lex

so listening to this shit makes me feel queasy

makes me feel uneasy

like the red freckles on ron weasley

now im takling about movies

when im actually thinking about boobies

on those hot girls in my class

checkin out the sizes of their ass

now i need to go to mass

to give a confession

cuz i had a bad thought during my lesson

my religion should be free

to the believer to actually see

if we can fly high

to check if heaven is in the sky

instead of drinking sky-

vodka

umm smodka

the things i say to try to rhyme

is taking up my precious time

i deserve a tonic and lime

and an autograph cd from sublime

or a girl that is fine

this world is mine

if i put my mind to it

so that i am fit

beat up people that i think are bit-

ches

and steal from the rich-

es

they'll swim with the fish-

es

the class is endin so i ran outta time

for my rhyme

maybe next time

ill go longer and stronger

something thatll make sense

for your head is too dense

imma end and it is your turn

to switch it up so that i can learn

peace

Copyright: this = mine

Fake Freestyle

lol this wasnt a freestyle

cuz i wrote it down

and i had to think about stuff

etc

whatevers

this aint a freestyle as you can see

you think you can rap better than me

its probably true cuz your style is free

free as can be you see

but heres the catch

your battling like a little betch

you dont know what your up against

i eat cunts like you for breakfast

speaking of cunts i met you mum

i can see where the ugliness came from

she showed me your little kid pics

and i dont remember seeing a dick

something so small to jack off you gotta flick

but you think youre the shit what a prick

Copyright: this = mine

You with Him

a poem of jealousy

i see you, with him

while im here, on a limb

you smile, when he's with you

i cry, not knowing what to do

out on dates, you two go

im alone, what do you know

gifts to give, presents a plenty

none for me, you get many

holidays, spent with your lover

spent alone, ill get another

you seem so happy, by his side

i say im happy, but i lied

it seems eternal, your love he gets

can i have some? not yet

but you with me, i desire

my love for you will not tire

copyright: this = mine

Randoms

heres a few random ones

Turtle

the days as a turtle must be frustrating

to plan a trip to the store in the evening

he starts to walk during the day

but seeing how slow he walks away

it must take many hours

to walk just a little so he cowers

the sun slowly passes through the sky

with the hot sun rays making him die

so when mr. turtle does reach the store

he is disappointed to find it's not open anymore

Hangul

i am a student and was born here

studying hard for my dream career

math problems and writing english

late nights so that i may finish

i am american but there is something i lack

something i hate which is a fact

my friends learn, they can start readin'

its my ethnicity but i dont know korean

Oreo Cheesecake

creamy creamy oh so creamy

i think about it all day oh so dreamy

the succulent texture melts within first touch

my body shivers way too much

the addiction makes me insane

i need the smooth dessert in my veins

all day and night its like a nightmare

the constant want for cheesecake its not fair

the oreos crumble along with the cream

as i chew softly and devour it clean

i cry when its gone from my plate

till next time i cannot wait

Work Money School

the people around me

working harder than ever

they make money

working forever

their lives revolver around it

their workplace

to pay for bills

for their living space

pursuing a career

something to desire

from working on computers

or putting out a fire

going to college

obtaining a higher degree

but im still lost

not sure what is for me

copyright: these = mine

Gone

i thought of this

while sitting at the park

its gone

i can feel it

it withers in my body

that endless pit

the darkness

and the light

ive given up

no need to fight

i want to replace it

the missing piece

the warm comforting feeling

like a soft fluffy fleece

i thought normal people

wouldnt lose this at all

i guess im not normal

without it i cant even crawl

can somebody lend me some

just a little

i want to feel it again

im so brittle

my life is falling apart

things dont matter anymore

i see everyone else

and what they live for

ill just wait and sit

watch the sun till dawn

so that i can see the stars

cuz the joy in my life is gone

Copyright: this = mine.

Pray

if you didnt get the last one

the answer is this

the first line rhymes with the last one

the second rhymes with the second to last

so on and so forth

and this poem

was inspired by an extremely dark time of mine

i lay here

all alone

after a big argument

its dark

and late

i dont know what i meant

i said words

hurtful words

about suicide and death

i was mad

oh so mad

i wished i had some meth

some deadly drugs

many of them

so i could feel really high

cuz this pain

and the stress

make me depressed and cry

arguments

many fights

they wont help me get better

pressure for this

pressure for that

sometimes i just dont get her

ill run away

and kill myself

but i dont think i can

im too weak

way to frail

more a baby than a man

jump from buildings

cut my throat

i plan all these attempts

but in the end

im still here

cuz i need encouragements

so all i do

is lay in bed

with tears pouring each side

try to keep quiet

not a sound

im sorry that i lied

i dont want to run

but i hate it here

i cant bare it anymore

but i cant

live out there

ill end up alone and poor

eventual death

it will find me

but i cannot run away

i must wait

bare through this

and pray death comes today

Copyright: this = mine.

Different

this was something i wanted to do

for awhile but its kinda weird

try and find out what i did

this poem right here

is not something ordinary

im trying to do something

something different

if you can find out

please let me know

because this thing im doing

was hard for me to do

to me, this is oh so new

in my mind it was brewing

i hope it has a nice flow

and read what it's about

and if it's pleasant

this isnt nothing

i finished it barely

so i hope you endear

Copyright: this = mine.

The End is Coming

it represents something in my life that i cannot say

because i know if people find out what this poem means

they will completely understand my point of view

and it will be too late anyways

lol (sorry for being a bit dark)

the end is coming

i can smell the stench

its creeping behind us

it wont take a rest

but what is ending?

that you ask

im not entirely sure

but its coming up fast

ill let everyone know

once i do find out

the sky isnt falling

no fire or drought

ah.. now i do know

but sorry i cannot say

what this disaster

that is coming someday

i can tell you this

it was so pure and so strong

long ago of course

somewhere we all belong

it isnt something physical

not objects or things

more like a bond

between living beings

it used to be magnificent

and something so great

but now i can see

thet inevitable fate

so just relax

dont try running

you wont even know

when the end is coming

copyright: this = mine

The Feeling

i just wrote this

words just came together on the page

its sloppy and unorganized

but its what i wanted

here goes

we all start somewhere

but i cannot rememeber

where i am or how i got here

i just cant seem to remember

i lost all emotions

no

i can still feel

the pain staking needles

that make my heart peel

i cannot sit nor can i stand

i float in my mind

wandering

wanting

for somebody to find

me and myself

the state i am in

cuz i cannot remember

where i have been

i want someone to know

actually i need someone instead

to understand how i feel

how many tears that ive shed

my mind is fluttered

with questions and doubts

of me failing

which i cannot let out

the feelings

so unclear

i just need someone to hear

to know that i fear

of things so dear

like love and affection

more like rejection

that makes my heart cold

i just need somone to hold

so that i can unfold

but for now im alone

still wandering the abyss

of clutter and confusion

still wanting

waiting

for that one person

to reach out their hand

and free me from the dark

so we can stand

not separate but one

not dread but fun

not walk but run

all could be done

with that one

but there is none

so i will wait longer

alone

alone

copyright: this = mine

Life

heres another that i wrote on the spot
very very short
its just about past present and future
its very narrow minded but wutevers
here it is

In the beginning of time
There was nothing
And in a flash
There was something

We grew corrupt
Destroyed everything
And at the end of time
There was still nothing

copyright: this = mine

Decay

its been a long time since i written something here
been down and stuff
stressed from school and other stuff
life doesnt seem to look that great for me atm
heres another poem about my depression from awhile ago
too lazy to put it into the previous formats
and yes it isnt the greatest of grammar
wutever

Death is near
I can feel it coming
Im so afraid
I feel like running

My body is decaying
I can feel the corrosion
Its eating my life
Memory, feeling, emotion

Death is slowly
Eating my life
I just want to cut if off
Using my knife

It burns and stings
As my body gets eaten
I feel so helpless
Im already been beaten

My legs are weak
And my back is frail
Why am i dying
Its like life in jail

My fingers fell off
And my toes are gone
My arms are on the roof
My legs on the lawn

My wounds are infected
My flesh is rotting
My blood is rushing
Cuz they stopped clotting

Then i wake up
And everyone can see
That i am alive
But i am dead to me

copyright: this = mine